Reflections on a dream
From knkitts (Kyra Kitts) on:
Sathya Sai Baba Discussion Club, message 2631:
Date: 9/4/01 2:37 p.m.
A few weeks ago I dreamt of Sai Baba. He hasn't appeared in any of my dreams for years. He was lying down in front of me, looking up at me. His face was shining golden and he looked deeply tired. He said to me simply "Help me. I can't control myself." It was clear that he was referring to his pedophilia. Then I put my hands on his torso to give him love and healing. That was the entire dream.
For those reading this who find and excessive use of "I", "my", "me", and other indicators of pomposity, please forgive me. None is intended. My words are written from the heart, and the language of the heart, in my opinion, can be difficult to express through the instrument of language.
I've been thinking a lot about that dream and recently I understood it. Whether viewed as an actual appearance by Sai Baba or as a metaphor the meaning is the same.
It's Consciousness that creates the leelas; that same Consciousness of which Sai Baba is a manifestation. It's a great Cosmic Joke that in order to stop running away from developing inner compassion to its fullest we have to be able to look at the abusive teacher/shadow teacher and say:
"I forgive you for hurting me. I forgive you for being a pedophile. I am not angry at you. I still love you, even though you are causing pain to other beings. I will help you in a loving manner by speaking openly of your molestations so that you can no longer get away with molesting young men and boys. That behavior makes you no less of a teacher. "
In recognizing Sai Baba's pedophilia and facing it directly I now realize that I've been given an opportunity by Consciousness to learn and practice active compassion to its fullest, without anger.
Sai Organization, please stop hiding from and covering up what you claim not to know. Acknowledge Sai Baba's pedophilia pubicly so that the sexual abuse is stopped. Put into practice his teachings of "Why fear when I am here" and "My love is my message, my message is my life."
When the teacher is healed he can continue to teach unimpeded.
When the teacher asks for help in dealing with his own dark side, be it through dream or outer behavior, he is giving a tremendous teaching.