THE CONFUSED IDEAS AND FEELINGS
AT THE SAIONLINE WEBSITE
Date: 01-03-03
Document date: 01-03-03
By: Åsa Samsioe
Email: asa.samsioe@leksand.mail.telia.com
By Åsa Samsioe, who received from saionline in reply to her posting about their attack on exbaba.com writers recently as follows:-
Dear Asa,
We have your email at hand. People may worship in whatever way is suitable for them, if it gives them spiritual strength. However, not everyone has continued with their spiritual efforts on their own after sites such as exbaba has damaged their emotions very much.
In this time and age there are a lot of people out there needing help; Swami has provided help to millions. We understand that you have not had the same insight as many of us at Sai online has on Swami and his life, and the many faceted aspects of a personality infused with so much divine energy and how he deals with humanity and its problems which is a threat to our world as a whole. From that angle it is easy to understand that any comment from outside groups would have a stronger impact to you than Swami's own constant, but unfortunately ignored, message on love.
It is easier to hate than to love and many have really lost belief in love, so even such people feel relief from these stories. Each receives according to his innate nature; no more, no less. And there is no one to blame but oneself. In any case, we are almost positive Swami himself is encouraging this hatred turned towards him the last two or so years. He told us more than ten years ago these days would come. By people hating him intensely, they will gradually be purified from such feelings in the process. A spiritual master is like the dumping ground for all our emotional garbage and are there to receive it.
So many people have been helped by Swami from incredibly difficult situations where no other assistance has been at hand. Even Conny Larsson claimed he was ready to commit suicide from the difficulties in his life, his failed gay relationship, his obscure and illegal business deals which left him cornered and finally made him want to drown himself in desperation. Who appeared to him on the beach in Sri Lanka where Larsson went to submerge himself in the waves? Not the exbaba group or Asa, we can assure, but Sai Baba. Of course, unless Larsson lied to thousands of people for some 18 years.
Om Sri Sai Ram, Support Group www.saionline.org
(Reply) To saionline from Åsa Samsioe ...
When I read your letters I get a creeping and unpleasant feeling, because I find them rather manipulating and dishonest. I hope for your sake that you are young and don't understand better.
I don't hate SB in the same way as I don't hate snakes or other reptiles created by God. But I don't worship them as God either. Why should I worship a being, who is less morally developed than most people, even if he has some paranormal powers?
You wrote:- "Each receives according to his innate nature; no more, no less. And there is no one to blame but oneself."
This uses despicable manipulation and veiled threat, doesn't it? Something like "If you don't retract and regret your views now, it will be the worse for you.
"He told us more than ten years ago these days would come".
It was not hard to predict that all his many victims would be able to contact one another by aid of the internet, once this became widely available...
"By people hating him intensely, they will gradually be purified from such feelings in the process."
This is only your own belief. I do not understand why you stubbornly maintain that we hate SB intensely, this is to overstate the case by far, at least as regards me. Talk about your primitive reactions - black or white - where are the nuances? I only want that SB should be exposed as the bluffer he is and be forcibly stopped from abusing innocent victims. If I can help to do so that is fine. I have no need whatever to see him boiled alive or anything of that nature, if this is what you think on saionline...
It also feels very good to stand up and show solidarity with all his victims. I assume that it is helpful to them, at least, that is how I would have felt it... And I do not wish to be "purified" by SB either, definitely not! He has not managed even to purify himself in all these years... Evidently you have never been bothered by the same moral dilemmas as SB:s ex devotees.
You prefer to put the blame on his victims.
But I don't share your view that these victims "have a history of conducting rape, molestation and other sexual crimes or excess sexual habits leading to crude exploitation, which they could not control or find relief or assistance from"...
On the contrary I believe that many of SB's victims are rather innocent and decent boys, who were truly spiritual searchers, like you and me...
But evidently you believe that you share your "Divine Pederast Avatar's" omniscience and know all these victims, who are scattered all over the world - even those who are close friends to people who are engaged in this web site.
If you ask them, I am quite sure, that they don't know who you are... And how could they, when you don't dare to go out with your names, but prefer to hide in some anonymous group...
And suppose that you were right about the victims... (even if most people find it very odd indeed, that there are hardly any victims older than thirty and absolutely no women with "excess sexual habits", that demand SB to molest them)... you can't mean that this gives your pederast avatar the right to molest people sexually!!!
This is very absurd you know, and you must be very confused...
Regarding SB:s confusing behavior, according to sacrificing or not sacrificing his “name and fame” :
I think this is just another symptom and a result of his mental disease...
Yes... I have already my own diagnosis for him...
I think that he has an extremely narcissistic personality.
Kernberg has written a lot about the narcissistic personality disorder.
These persons have a psychological disturbance on the borderline level...
These persons can also be very charming and charismatic. Often they are very talented and gifted. But inside they are quite empty and bored...
They are also, on a deeper level, very lonely persons, who are unable to maintain deep, warm and meaningful relations to others...
The narcissist has a very exploitive relation towards others and he/she needs admiration all the time... The narcissists use people as mirrors for themselves...
But at the same time The narcissists doesn´t bother about inconsistencies in their own behavior or their own character. They are standing aloft from all these trifles that bother most of us... They live in there self made heaven, where they have put themselves on a pedestal, very far from us ordinary mortals...
Often they seek challenges and are willing to take grand risks because they are so empty and bored inside...
The most conspicuous characteristic for the narcissistic personality is the paradoxal split between two images of the self.
One image of the self is the grandiose self (SB is God himself- can it be more grandiose?)
The other image of the self, which is on a deeper level, is filled of shame, hate and feelings of worthlessness...
The tragedy for SB and his devotees is that his grandiose self gets continuos nourishment.. actually it has been fed with attention and admiration all his life... Of course he has nothing to be afraid of... The other image of his self will never get a chance to show itself... And he will never get the chance to get in contact with his own suffering, that on a long view, could have healed him from his mental disorder...And if there is at threat to him from this other image of the self to break through, ( threat - because this would be very painful for him) he will have to deny its existence or project it on other persons...
But there are situations when SB obviously has been deprived of narcissistic supply or frustrated in some way...
Then he shows intense rage as you can read about in the book ANYATHÃ SARANAM NASTHI: “Other than You refuge there is none”, by Smt. Vijaya Kumari:
She writes in the pages 68-69 about SB: “The slightest oversight with regard to arrangements for his meals would provoke Him into a fit of anger. Sometimes He would fling His plate at the wall opposite Him with such force that it would rebound and come back to Him”.
Getting older is very difficult for these personalities, when they realize that they are not as attractive or healthy as they used to be...
In Sanathana Sarathi from October 2002, you can read: “I don´t know any weakness. Usually old people have wrinkles on their faces and they suffer from deafness and cataract. I do not have any signs of old age. (loud applause) there is not a single wrinkle on my face. My eyes shine like stars and my voice is like a loudspeaker... ”
As a matter of fact a friend of mine, who recently visited the ashram, told me that SB was almost bald on the back of his skull. And even if his face hasn´t any wrinkles, everyone can see that he has got a “turkey throat”...
So that is something that can threat SB:s grandiose image of himself...
It is interesting, but also very frightening to read what Smt. Vijaya Kumari writes about her own son in page 222:
“Everyone used to call him “Chota Baba” (little Baba). He had a full head of crinkled hair. Swami made the boy sit in His lap and asked him, “What is your name?” “Have you drunk milk?” “Would you like to eat rice?” “Do you want to be naughty?”. The boy gave replies in a cute way. Everyone was laughing.
The boy was then three years old. Suddenly, Swami made him lie face down in His lap and began beating him hard on the back. None of us knew what to make of it. We were all stunned, and staring at Swami. Who among us had the courage to go near Swami and question Him? The boy´s face looked jaded. He was yelling and crying. “Go, go away from here.” Saying so, Swami pushed the boy away from Him. The poor little boy! He came running to me sobbing. The sobs did not subside even after one hour. Every week, Swami would treat the boy like this, three or four times. The minute I took him out of the cradle my son would say pathetically, “Don´t take me to Swami, mother”, and break into tears. I would feel very pained. But when Swami ordered me to bring the boy, how could I say no? Further I had full faith and confidence in Swami... On the days when Venkamma garu happened to be with us, she would take my son from Swamis lap, saying “That is enough, Swami”, My son was by no means mischievous. He was so quiet that none was aware of his presence in a room. But we do not know which “evil power” Swami had to drive away from him. “
I would guess that it was some sort of narcissistic offence, that provoked this furious and evil behavior from SB towards the innocent child.
Perhaps the cute little boy, who made everyone laugh, stole all the attention and admiration, that SB wanted for himself ?
Perhaps in a deeper level, this little boy, who also was called “little Baba”, provoked SB´s deeper feelings of worthlessness and self hate, - his other self ?
Perhaps SB projected this denied and repressed self of his, on that little boy, who he then had to punish?
I think that SB is a VERY SICK person... I was happy when I found him... but I am much happier now, when I have rescued myself from him and the clutches of his cult!Åsa Samsioe