MY CURRENT VIEW AND WHY I SUPPORT THE EXPOS…
From: Jorge Reyesverya
Document date: 02-08-02
Copied from: http://www.saiguru.net/english/personal_exp/14reyesvera.htmBy Jorge Reyesvera (former long-term office-bearer of the SSO in Mexico) E-mail to saiguru.net from firstname.lastname@example.org
I live in Mexico and I followed actively SB for about 17 years (1983-2000). For most of that time (1984-1996) I had various responsibilities in the Sai Organization and have had plenty of indisputable wonderful (as well as bad) experiences during that period (and of course before and afterward). I have visited India several times and also had several interviews with SB. I have witnessed many real (at least from my point of view) paranormal phenomena, like materializations from SB's open hand (I have clearly seen the object coming out of it). I had extensive communication with SB through dreams, and I am sure he was able to read my mind when I was close to him. I have a ring that he gave me. Also I saw several times an aura surrounding him that I could not distinguish in any other person. I have plenty of good stories and I am aware that, while what I have experienced is not a "common" occurrence for everyone who comes in contact with SB, there are a number of people, of course, who surely have prettier stories to tell, but my point here is that at least I have some direct experience.
Undoubtedly SB is an extraordinary character, almost any person who has been close to him for some time can notice that. It is charming when he gives attention and, on the surface, his charismatic personality draws the attention of a relatively large amount of people (that compared with the total earth's populations is very minimal). His proposal seems very enticing for the truth-seeker, as well as the one looking for miracles. And lot of fish bite the hook. In any case, what is wrong with singing nice devotional songs (bhajans), doing service (seva) and trying very hard to improve oneself? On the other hand, SB promotes (and boasts about it) some charity work, which makes his offer a little bit more credible. Imagine a world full of people doing service and loving God and that under the direct supervision of God himself in human form! That proposal is so enchanting that, for the average SB follower, well-known facts - like his lavish way of life or the fact that many of his predictions never happen etc., are even classified as unfathomable blessings.
To me it is also indisputable that SB lies, cheats and he is not as powerful as he says, not by far. And of course his refusal to allow an open investigation about his pedophilia and participation in the '93 murders taints tragically any defense other people try to make for him. In my view there is no room for any middle position. If you are not so sure, then you know you are already a doubter and a non-follower. And that was basically what happened to me. For all those whose life is full of SB, realizing all - or even any - of his misdeeds may be a huge challenge. I know it by experience but at least I still follow what I consider to be the best. Once you are sure about SB's ignorance, inability, double standards and dual morality, etc. how then can you keep him as a standard to follow? How can one give up the awareness and conscience deep within us which must be our true Master?
Despite all of humanitys many attempts, there is still no accepted convention of how God should be or what his characteristics are, and by saying that because SB has a certain type of faculty he is God, we are just showing our ignorance. Of course there is a long tradition offering the main exponents of a religion having miraculous powers, but unfortunately most accounts are most difficult to verify. Even the God concept by itself seems to be extremely subjective. Those who have engaged in discussions of things of this sort realize the futility of the effort sooner or later. During my follower days I was a strong advocate of SB and what I considered his teachings and I am well acquainted with all kind of explanations that many people who call themselves SB devotees (a very fuzzy term indeed!!) make about some of his deeds and behaviour. In fact I am able to say without doubt that no one (but myself!) could possibly have convinced me that SB is not what he claims.
I think the most important function of the exposť efforts is to present facts and points for those who are receptive to make his/her own conclusions. I strongly recommend putting faith in God and not in SB. It is a fact that if you ask SB (even in dreams), he will answer at his convenience. Knowing the truth, however painful it may be, is much better than living deceived with a fanciful, ghostly and virtually unreachable mirage.
I have many good things left from the "sai days" but for sure one of the most precious is the ability to do what I am currently doing. I can express myself with the assurance that I do not have the ultimate truth but at least I can share what I have found to be more truthful. I am open to consider the fact that I am mistaken and even that this may be a huge divine play (lila). However, the deeper I go the further off that possibility seems. And we can not just simply turn and close our eyes and ears without the huge risk of wasting something that is very precious which is ourselves.
Some still feel the exposť efforts are inadequate and they react in very diverse ways. All efforts that many people do in favour of SB, thinking that they are serving God, are laudable and praiseworthy. But the efforts that many well-intentioned SB followers make to defend him are silly because - if he was God - then he would not require any defense nor would anyone or anything
supposedly protected by him. What it is also worth some deeper thought is the attitude of other SB defenders who typically show a vast range of negative responses.
This world is marvelous, its myriad of elements create new worlds that in some contexts become good or bad. However, it seems, we are destined either to follow our inner voice or be the slaves of some external interest. I have always trusted God and that remains the same. While, in my view, SB falls under God's plan (and that, BTW, would be futile to discuss) that is just not enough reason to support him any more than it is a good idea (at least in my view) to support war, famine, etc.
I have found most of the most marvelous people I know in the Sai Organization and I think their faith in SB may turn them against me, but maybe not. Whatever the case, what we keep in common is the truthfulness of our search and I pray that the honesty in their search may bring them ultimately to the truth. I am not against SB but against his wrongdoing and the damage he causes to so many people. If he is a criminal, he deserves punishment and if he is a charlatan then he needs to be exposed widely so that people who come in contact with him may have better means with which to make up their minds.
Contrary to what - in his last Christmas discourse - SB insists, I think that in having the firm conviction of following one's heart, there is no wrong in spreading facts that eventually would help people. Why is he so afraid? Why insist time after time on his supposed good name? Why condemn his critics? Why threaten supposed sins? His 'example' seems to be a very deceitful one.
If he is what he pretends, why does he just not show us indisputably that he is right and innocent? The answer seems to be obvious, considering the anxiety he constantly makes evident to the observant eye: It is just because he cannot.
This mail is to express my support to any objective and fact-based exposť work aimed to reveal the real nature of SB.