Copied from: http://www.saipetition.net/cgi-bin/pet.cgi
M. M., Mauritius signed the petition on July 11. 2011
Period as a follower: Been a follower since childhood, joined the SSO in 2010
Position in S.S.Org: Bhajan Convenor, Vice President
Period as a follower: since childhood, Position in S.S.Org: now a (resigned official).
I was brought up attending bhajans and I was since a child very interested in everything that concerned spirituality.
My cousin gave me a video in which I saw him faking the materialisation of a lingam. I was around 13-14 years old. I decided not to believe. I read all critics. I decided not to believe. It was a test to my faith. My first trip to him was not what I expected. The business, noise, fanfare and the realisation that many of whom present there were the poor/uneducated folks around and foreigners who had very little knowledge of Hinduism left me feeling very disappointed. My mind told me that Sai Baba was God and I was the one who was not right.
I went again in 2010. Seeing him for the first time in Darshan on this second trip gave me the realisation that I did not feel anything strong like I used to on an earlier trip). The past years had been decisive in my maturing up since the last time I went there. I started questioning myself as to why despite seeing such a flagrant cheat on video and having read many things against him, I still followed him. I realised that i was doing all this to please my surrounding and because I could not afford to lose years of “spiritual” investment.
When he fell sick this year my intuition told me that all the news being given were just too beautiful to be true. I decided to read what the "opposing camp" was saying. And this was it. All what remained of my belief collapsed. His sickness was the last test. I said if he survives then it will be the greatest miracle and if he dies, I will leave. And it happened. I cried and cried. I had invested so much time and energy into it but still my adherence to truth was stronger.
I have not lost faith in Spirituality itself but have left the SSO which by the way is another matter of great debate as to whether it is a “spiritual” organisation. Many have turned against me since but I feel free. I am free. Gone is the time of Sai Baba fairy tales, stupid rationalizations and the Swami knows what he is doing” mantra.